The Yellow Door Life

It’s ironic that I took the time to write this blog today.

It has been sitting in draft for almost a week. 

I feel anything but positive right now.

Today was terrible. 

But as I told one of the kids who asked me if I was ok as he got his stuff out of his locker to leave at dismissal, “It’s just a bad day. It will come to an end.”

So I guess this is how I will try to end this terrible day, on a positive note.

2025 was something. 

Good, bad, miraculous, weird.

You name it, it happened this year. 

2025 was the Year of the Snake. Ironic. Since I used to fear snakes above all else. 

But like a snake, my whole year has been about shedding. Getting rid of all the stuff that was weighing me down and preventing new growth. 

At the beginning of 2025, I felt very unsettled and knew I needed to make some important choices this year. 

I finished the school year and felt hopeful as I was placed in the 8th grade, to teach my first group of students for their last year of middle school.

I got to spend some time after Memorial Day in Gulf Shores. I did hardly anything except walk along the beach. Those were some of my happiest moments this year. Alone, with my feet in the sand. 

I taught summer school which is always an interesting experience, but it provided some extra money which I really needed to help fund my giant summer roadtrip.

Speaking of which, I took a 24-day road trip by myself. I’m not trying to brag or anything, but that was a pretty phenomenal way to mark my 10th solo road trip. 

I got to see a lot of people I love, pay my respects to many others who I’ve lost, and reconnect with a few who I hope will be part of my future.

I embraced the familiarity of Texas and stories that have yet to be written there. 

I went to my hometown for the first time in 27 years. 

I didn’t let other people’s dirty looks make me feel uncomfortable while wearing oxygen in Colorado. 

I had an amazing trip, with no major issues or car emergencies. By God’s good grace of course.

I got to experience the Words & Music songwriting program at the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville as soon as I got home, and got to share that with my kids in October. They don’t know it yet, but some of them will be getting to go on a field trip of their own in February. Participating in this program has been a goal of mine for 2 years and I’m so blessed I was able to pull it all off. 

I had the opportunity to take my girls’ club, HERStory Matters, on a field trip to the Country Music Hall of Fame to hear Lainey Wilson speak and perform. 

I’ve planned some really fun lessons and look forward to doing more in the new year. 

Aside from school, I’ve had to spend a lot of time alone (part of the shedding) and come to the realization that to have the things I want, I must give up all that I have.

• Pointless stuff.
• Bad habits.
• Extra weight. 
• Unhealthy attachments (to people and things).

More shedding. 

I’ve made some choices this year that will completely redirect my steps in 2026 and I can honestly say I have not one clue what is about to happen. 

If you know me well enough, you know that I don’t deal well with uncertainty, but that is exactly what else God has asked me to shed – fear of the unknown. 

I’ll miss 2025 quite a bit. It was a transformative year and although nothing super life-changing happened, it actually did, or will. 

I feel like the most positive thing that happened to me this year was me finally feeling comfortable with saying no. 

Saying no to experiences, situations, people, relationships, commitments, invitations, places, and things that no longer serve my purpose.

Ultimately, that’s what I’m here for – to serve a purpose – and anything that hampers that was never mine to begin with anyhow. 

It’s lonely and isolating. 

I find myself in silence (except while at work of course), but largely I’m sitting with the quiet of unanswered prayers and not yets. 

But saying no to everything that isn’t working? That’s been the best damn feeling yet. 

2025 was, and is for 21 more days, a positive year. 

Now, I just pray that the shedding from 2025 leads to the blossoming of 2026.

❤